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Engagement Rings – The Asexual Couple
Engagement rings usually suggest a couple is committing to each other physically as well as emotionally, but for one married couple – they are both still virgins.
Engagement rings are a symbol of two people joining in unison, physically and emotionally. The exchange of engagement rings is a vow of commitment to one person. But one couple writing in the Guardian newspaper told of how their marriage is a completely sexless one. The idea of exchanging engagement rings is traditionally a way for couples to consummate their relationship, so it seems unusual that a couple would wear engagement rings and go on to get married – but still remain virgins.
Engagement Rings – A Physical Pact
For many, the physical aspect of a relationship is important. Proposing marriage with engagement rings is a commitment to that aspect of the relationship. But why bother with engagement rings and marriage if you don't want a physical relationship? Marriage is an institution after all designed to safeguard families emotionally, financially and physically. Without sex, the marriage will be childless. But for Paul Cox and his wife, he says he has found love and happiness as an asexual couple.
Marriage and Engagement
Rings are also symbols of commitment emotionally, and for this asexual couple, their engagement and wedding rings represent love and security. Asexuality is a choice, and Paul said he felt he was alone in thinking he didn't want a physical relationship in his life. He explained how growing up he never felt the urge to go out with a girl (or boy) and that the first women he ever kissed became his wife. Paul simply found no pleasure or joy in the idea of sex, and found it 'boring'. His lack of sexual urges however didn't mean he didn't want the emotional fulfillment that exchanging engagement rings and wedding vows brings.
Asexual couple exchanged Engagement Rings
Paul wrote how he found it difficult that sex was the preoccupation of his now grown-up friends. At university he realised he was an asexual. He found other people online who were also asexual and began to feel he had a 'label' and a place in the world. Paul had resigned himself to a lonely future. But after becoming involved with the asexual communities in New York during his university studies, he hooked up with future wife. After dating, they exchanged engagement rings and announced their marriage to their families. And their story, if unusual, is incredibly romantic.
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